The enlightened answering machine

The enlightened answering machine

Nisargadatta Maharaj -

"Hi! This is Maharaj. I am not home right now. But in reality, I have never left. I have been here before you called and will be here after you hang up."

Ramesh Balsekar -

"Hello! This body-mind organism known as Ramesh is not available right now. Looks like that is your destiny. If it is God's will, your call will be answered."

Gurdjieff -

"Hello! This is Gurdjieff............STOP!"

Ramana -

"My dear! I don't know who is calling. But if I were you, I would ask myself - Who am I? When you will find the answer, you won't need to call me again."

Zen Master -

"Sitting silently, doing nothing Phone rings, and answering machine starts by itself."

Gautam the Buddha -

"Life is suffering. To call someone is a suffering. When the person is not there, there's more suffering. You leave a message, he doesn't reply answer your call so there's even more suffering. Remember! Life is suffering."

Kiranbhai

(a disciple of Osho who generally says that there is no need to do anything. Enlightenment will happen by itself.) -
"Hello! This is Kiranbhai. I am not home right now. But there is no need to call again, there's no need to leave a message and so there's no need to for me to call you back also. In fact, if you want to try, there's no need to pay your phone bill also. Thank you for calling!"

Finally I dialed:

Punjaji

but by mistake the line went to Lord Krishna's residence (the usual phenomenon in India). As we all know Krishna's famous quote was -
"Whatever happened, happened for good. Whatever is happening, is happening for good and whatever will happen will happen for good. What have you lost that you are crying for? Whatever you have gained, you have gained here. Whatever you have lost, you have lost here. What belongs to you today, belonged to someone else yesterday and will belong to someone else tomorrow. CHANGE is the eternal rule of life. So don't focus on the result but do your karma."

Krishna-

(his answering machine detects wrong numbers automatically.)
"My beloved! Although I am omnipresent, I am not available right now. And by the way, you have dialed a wrong number. But no problem. Whatever happened, happened for good. Whatever is happening, is happening for good and whatever will happen will happen for good. Why are you crying since you lost only one rupee. Whatever number you dialed, you dialed it right here. The number which is my today belonged to someone else yesterday and will be someone else's number tomorrow. CHANGE in the telephone numbers is the eternal rule of Indian telephone exchange. So don't worry about the result and just do your karma. Dial the right number."

Osho -

" Hello! This is Osho.....Never born, never died. Never picked up a phone. Only kept his answering machine ON. I leave you my dream.....and you leave your message after the beep. Yahoo!"